Behind the Mic: Unscripted Moments and Real Talk

Key Takeaways:

• The importance of creating a safe and supportive network by sharing vulnerabilities and authentic experiences within a community.
• How raw and unedited podcasts foster genuine connections and provide relatable content that resonates with a broad audience.
• Imposter syndrome is a universal experience, and embracing it can lead to greater personal accountability and growth.
• The critical role of empathy and authenticity in fostering mental health dialogues that resonate on a personal and community level.
• Leveraging insights and feedback from the audience to inform future conversations and improve the services offered by platforms like Hill Sanctuary House.

Notable Quotes:

• "You bring so much wealth of experience and knowledge and… your life experience and how you've navigated being a dad, husband, grandfather." - Debbie Draybi
• "We don't need to know what we're doing. We're just putting ourselves out there… our intention is to help make a difference." - Natalie Moujalli
• "People just want to hear who you are. Naturally." - Eddie Reaiche
• "These counselors, these people, these hosts behind the mic, really, really, really care for the community." - Derrick Yeoh

For more information on the Hills Sanctuary House visit our website https://hshl.org.au/
You and your mental health is important to us.
Please visit https://hshl.org.au/wp/help-resources/ for help and resources

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Facebook - Christ the Redeemer Maronite Catholic Parish of The Hills
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Blog - https://hshl.org.au/blog/

Transcript

0:00:00 - (Natalie Moujalli): Can we say that Derrick started pressing record as we were chatting? And then. So this is really, like. It started quite, quite naturally, you know, like, can we. Can we explain that to them? Like, a little bit of a different.

0:00:13 - (Derrick Yeoh): This is going to be behind the scenes, very minimal editing.

0:00:21 - (Debbie Draybi): Welcome to Finding Sanctuary. Our shared conversations into how we think and feel and how we find peace and comfort in daily life. We get together with experts to chat about all things mental health, getting insights and understanding on the struggles of life. We got Maronite Run Club on the way. But in the meantime, we just decided to have a conversation.

0:00:49 - (Debbie Draybi): And of course, Derrick, being Derrick, decides to click record. So here it goes. I hope you enjoyed our impromptu conversation. This is what happens when the guests leave us alone and we start having conversations that, you know, that emerge again, totally unscripted, unplanned. And it's just been so beautiful to connect with you all and just to pause and reflect on how we're all going and check in with each other. And yeah, I hope you enjoy this conversation as well, because we have. We definitely have.

0:01:21 - (Natalie Moujalli): I actually become a little girl, you know, like, all day I'm adulting and I'm getting through the things and I'm mothering and I'm working and. And I'm so tired. And I get here and I see everyone, specifically you lot, and I actually feel like I can breathe and relax and whatever I'm carrying. It's like a shared load. And I don't have to be that person all day anymore. I get to, like, take that hat off and just rest in this space because it's safe for me.

0:01:51 - (Eddie Reaiche): I feel so, so humbled with this group. I really do. It's kind of like coming into a place where they're just great minds. And I'm in awe when you just look at, like when I look at both of you and Mons. And I think to myself, how did I get so lucky to land this? Like, it's kind of like an honour every time I come here. And I think, did they get it right? Did they get the right person?

0:02:17 - (Natalie Moujalli): You keep questioning yourself, was this on purpose? You know, the question you ask yourself, is this on purpose?

0:02:24 - (Eddie Reaiche): Like, do they really know who I am? Because seriously, this is kind of like, this is really weird because I don't deserve to be here. It's just a thought that comes to my mind, and that's why I feel so humbled when I'm Together with you guys. And I think, am I really deserving of the friendship and stuff? And these are the thoughts that go through my mind sometimes.

0:02:44 - (Debbie Draybi): Wow. Well, Eddie, I just want you to know that you absolutely deserve to be here. And I get, I get what you're saying. Like, we all have that imposter syndrome. Are we good enough? I mean, I mean, you guys always say incredible things about me, which I, you know, it's overwhelming sometimes, but recognizing that you, you bring so much wealth of experience and knowledge and your diversity of not just skills and, you know, the amount of degrees you have is incredible, but also your life experience and how you've navigated being a dad, husband, grandfather. You know, it's incredible. Like, to me, you're an incredible mentor and it's been so wonderful to build that relationship with you. And if anything, I've felt that confidence because I have so much respect for you both to know that.

0:03:37 - (Debbie Draybi): Well, yeah, you believe in me and I want to believe in myself more for you both. So I don't want to let you down, actually. Good. Because we rely on you, Deb.

0:03:46 - (Eddie Reaiche): Every time I listen to you, I think that's who I want to be when I grow up.

0:03:49 - (Derrick Yeoh): Yeah.

0:03:49 - (Eddie Reaiche): That's all I think about.

0:03:50 - (Debbie Draybi): Yes. Even though everyone, um, Eddie's older than me.

0:03:53 - (Natalie Moujalli): Okay.

0:03:53 - (Debbie Draybi): Just saying.

0:03:55 - (Natalie Moujalli): How about every time.

0:03:57 - (Debbie Draybi): No, not that much older.

0:03:59 - (Natalie Moujalli): How about every time we're in a pre recording zoom, I'll just start hearing Debbie speak and then just very quickly, I'll be like, debbie, you're doing that session now. Thank you so much. Bye.

0:04:08 - (Eddie Reaiche): Yes, Nat, please. You say everyone's doing this.

0:04:12 - (Debbie Draybi): Exactly. Nat is like the master of delegation. Just letting you know, that's my job.

0:04:17 - (Natalie Moujalli): Delegate, organize, coordinates, edits.

0:04:21 - (Debbie Draybi): But the thing is, Nat, like, the one thing I find with that, honestly, like, I listen to your podcast when you're hosting, how you present. I think that you're incredible. You're intelligent, you're articulate, and sometimes I feel like I don't do it justice. And I say, oh, if Nat did this, it would have come out better. Yeah, absolutely. I think you. You doubt yourself a lot and I think we need to work on that as therapists, you know, off microphone, of course.

0:04:50 - (Debbie Draybi): Just being able to think about, you know, I guess we see each other's wisdom and contributions probably more than we see it in ourself and being able to recognise that. And I think everyone does that look, that imposter syndrome. It's universal. Everyone has it. And I think that's really important that we recognise that it's okay to have that, even for our listeners out there who might be questioning their value and their worth or their level of expertise to do something new and try something new.

0:05:20 - (Debbie Draybi): Hopefully we've demonstrated and role modeled that it doesn't have to be perfect. And you just learn and evolve together and trust and build a relationship that can help you nurture whatever craft that you want to do.

0:05:32 - (Natalie Moujalli): You actually helped me with that a lot. I think it was around the first time we were recording and you were like, let's just have a light conversation, see where it goes. And we did that. We did it via zoom even. And then you were like, let's just release it. I was like, what do you mean? It's unpolished? It's not. There's no structure. What are we doing here? We don't have an editor. And you're like, natalie, this is part of the process.

0:05:55 - (Natalie Moujalli): We need to release this because it's showing people that we don't have to be polished. We don't need to know what we're doing. We're just putting ourselves out there because our intention is to help make a difference and we will learn along the way and our listeners will learn with us and we'll develop together. And for me personally, that was a massive challenge because I'm kind of like the kind of person that's either don't do it at all or do it properly.

0:06:20 - (Natalie Moujalli): And to find that middle ground and then grow together as part of a journey was very difficult for me. But you inspired me to push past the need to feel like something is done perfectly and just start somewhere and grow together.

0:06:36 - (Eddie Reaiche): You know, I noticed a lot with a lot of the people who come in to be on the panel and talk in our podcast, and a lot of the guests feel the same way we would have felt the first time we came up to a microphone. And so you can use that for a lot of empathy and sort of sit with them and say, look, I know how it feels. We were there once. Just be you. Because people just want to hear who you are. Naturally.

0:07:01 - (Eddie Reaiche): None of us are faking it. We're all trying to do the best we can. We're trying to be as real as we can, because if we're real, then our listeners will believe us. But we can't be anything but real. And I think that's important for us.

0:07:14 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, look, I've had listeners comment that, particularly people that I know well. And the message that they've said was, it's like, I'm just having A conversation with you at home or on the phone. I'm a. You know, as, you know, I'm a talker. But being able to recognise that it's your. Your authentic self and it doesn't have to be polished. And I think that does give permission to our guests as well. I mean, you did it just before in. In the episod.

0:07:39 - (Debbie Draybi): You know, you just grappled a bit with the introduction, but it eased the tension and got her to recognise there's no script here. We're just having a conversation and it doesn't have to be polished. And actually, people don't want a polished presentation. That's just boring. They like the banter, they like the chemistry, they like the tension. And I think we're quite intentional about that.

0:08:03 - (Natalie Moujalli): I mean, we had Andrew Condolian in for a podcast, and I was trying to co host with Eddie, and we was trying to start off this episode and we were just both fumbling for words. And then we're like, stop, cut. We have to edit that out. And then I said something like at the top of my voice, like, you'd think we'd have our together at this point. It gave Andrew a laugh. Everyone laughed with us. It eased the tension. And then we, We. We got on with it and it was fine. But the nerves at the beginning are really difficult to tackle. So, you know, you were talking about the empathy that we have for the guests. Cause they're feeling the things that we felt.

0:08:40 - (Natalie Moujalli): I find myself saying, we can edit everything. Don't worry, we can pause, we can edit, we can chop and change. Do you want to see how you look on the camera? What do you want to get out of this? Because that's kind of the journey that we've gone on in terms of how we feel about when we record.

0:08:56 - (Eddie Reaiche): It's really hard, isn't it, when you sit here and you think, okay, I'm coming in with a clear perspective, no agenda. We're talking about this. And then, is this my best game? Am I gonna sound stupid? Or am I gonna give it the best shot? What will people think? These are all thoughts that run through our mind because none of us are perfect. None. We don't come here thinking we're experts at anything.

0:09:19 - (Eddie Reaiche): And believe me, I'm not an expert in anything. And I just fumble my way through life, like I think a lot of people do, and we manage to get through.

0:09:28 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, I think that's been a huge message that. I know a lot of our listeners that have approached me and Given me feedback. It's that permission to be human and to be imperfect and to. I mean, someone said, you know, you normalize suffering and pain and grief and whatever the issues are that often don't get talked about because we do live in a community that's very status driven and we know that, we've talked about this in a lot of conversations.

0:09:56 - (Debbie Draybi): In the Maronite community, there's a lot of pressure to perform and to present your perfect self in so many ways. And this hasn't been a performance. This has been just an open, vulnerable conversation.

0:10:09 - (Natalie Moujalli): Yeah, a little bit too real sometimes.

0:10:12 - (Eddie Reaiche): We're exposed to that on a daily basis. Even going to Mass. People who go to church. Everyone says, I don't want to go to Maronite masses because it's a fashion parade. And so I've heard that so many times. And you think, well, why are you going to Mass if you're worried about fashion? Shouldn't you be going to Mass because you want to be part of something greater?

0:10:40 - (Debbie Draybi): Well, I think that's the point though, Eddie. Like, people feel like they don't belong when they, they can't dress to that standard or, you know, show up with a particular, you know, style that they see represented a lot. So they disengage because they don't feel that sense of belonging and connection. And I think we've tried to model the importance of stripping away those layers and just being yourself.

0:11:08 - (Natalie Moujalli): And also that, that really personal and intimate connection with people. So rather than that whole big blanket statement of this is how these kind of environments are or this is how this community is, knowing that well, especially with Hill Sanctuary House and what we're doing with finding sanctuary, it's very personable, it's very intimate. You know, I had someone come up to me at a lunch a few weeks ago and she came up to me, she introduced herself and she's like, hi, I'm.

0:11:37 - (Natalie Moujalli): She said her name and I automatically knew her surname. Why? Because she's been liking our Instagram posts. So as soon as she said her first name, I was like, are you this person? She says, yes. I said, oh my gosh, thank you so much for supporting us. I've seen your name come up a few times. So it's so personal. Like, we see the people who support us, we know who's behind us. We love that we're reaching a slightly Larger audience.

0:12:02 - (Natalie Moujalli): Now we've got guest speakers in, and the growth has been amazing. But at the foundation of this, it's intimacy. It is connection, and it is like you are a name, not a number.

0:12:15 - (Eddie Reaiche): I think that's a very strong message that we really want to push, that we understand what life is like. And life throws us a lot of curveballs. Sometimes we know how to duck, sometimes we get hit on the head, but.

0:12:29 - (Debbie Draybi): Either way, soccer, punched in the gut, whatever.

0:12:31 - (Eddie Reaiche): But we've got to try and work out how can we. Can we be resilient, because that's really important. And if we learn ways of doing it, if we hear about other people and what they go through and understand, hey, I'm not alone, then it gives us a sense of hope. And I think that's a lot of our messages. It says, you know, you're not alone in this, and it doesn't matter what you're going through in that it does matter what you're going through, but it doesn't matter.

0:12:57 - (Eddie Reaiche): Knowing that you'll never be alone. And there's help everywhere you look. If there's something you want to know, if you want to be involved in something, you can always contact one of the people here. One of us go through the Instagram page, make suggestions on topics you really want to hear about. The forum is always open, super open to feedback. It's not strict. We're not strict about. We have to talk about this and nothing else.

0:13:19 - (Eddie Reaiche): We want to cater to everyone who listens, not to our needs. It's your needs that's really important to us.

0:13:25 - (Natalie Moujalli): What I've found this season, a lot more than the previous seasons, is that people are actually starting to reach out for help, which has been beautiful. And what. What that's driven is, our work at Hill Sanctuary House is to start finding psychologists that are a safe referral out. Because what's happening with the episodes is it's bringing up some stuff for some people, so they might reach out and say, hey, I'm feeling a certain way. I need support.

0:13:51 - (Natalie Moujalli): So one of our tasks has been is to build, like, an external referral network and actually vet those therapists that we're referring out to to make sure that they have a similar framework and foundation to us. And then it's a safe referral out for those people to get the support that they need. So this has kind of been the progress from the podcast to the workshops to people then reaching out and saying, I need more. I need some support.

0:14:18 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, what a beautiful outcome. Thinking about when we started. We really started, you know, the early days of building a conversation to also build a community and to recognise what the needs are and then develop services to really support those needs and complement what the community's asking for. So I think that's a beautiful example. And I guess as we continue to grow and evolve and the services continue to develop, we really look to all our listeners for guidance. So we need your feedback, we need your engagement and also we'd love to have more guests on the show, you know, over the course of the next couple of years. We want to continue to grow and develop and as you said, Eddie, we all have unique experiences.

0:15:02 - (Debbie Draybi): The more examples we have of the challenges and the crisis, but also the celebr that people have coming and sharing their lived experiences. I think it just creates so much meaning and connection and it's more relatable to everyone because we're not the same, we're all different and we experience life very differently as well.

0:15:23 - (Eddie Reaiche): Yeah, you guys are great. That's all I want to say.

0:15:26 - (Debbie Draybi): Lots of love here. Just as we're talking as well, I wondered. I know we've got this incredible person that sits in the room with us and observes us and keeps time and everything else to make this happen. I'm wondering if we could have some reflections from Derek, who transforms our conversations into what you get to listen to. So, Derek, I'm wondering, you know, from your perspective, how have you been experiencing this whole thing and what have your observations been?

0:15:53 - (Derrick Yeoh): First up, very, very humbled to be here because I say I'm a fly on the wall, just listening in. But these three people, and then some around, Monsignor included, have been so, so welcoming and they have said, this is not your community, it's our community. And still, as much as they say they show it, you know, you just feel slightly alienated because I don't, you know, mix with Lebanese every single waking hour, which you guys do, but to see the warmth that flows within them and then how they reach out to me, I go, these guys are not faking it. And look, let's be real, when they come here, they've got baggage, I tell you, all sorts. I hear.

0:16:33 - (Derrick Yeoh): I hear Debbie go, rah. Everything comes out and say, whoa. And Natalie comes as well. But Nathi is, you know, a machine. She just gets things done. And she goes, yeah, it's a bit full, it's a bit full. I'm feeling slightly tired, but it's the middle of the year, but I've got some more left in me in the Tank Eddie comes, you know, big smile like Papa Bear. He loves all of us. And I feel that they model it well.

0:16:57 - (Derrick Yeoh): No imposter syndrome, though. They go, don't put me behind the hot seat. Don't make me host. That's an athlete. And he's pointing. But after all of that, after all that, you know, bringing their worries, their struggles, the stuff that's happening in the background out to the fore, they go, all right, done. We've unloaded, we've decompressed. Now let's get on to business. And when they come here, what you hear isn't a different self, a new mask on.

0:17:25 - (Derrick Yeoh): They speak with authenticity, with such love for the community. I'm blown away with the love, the care that they have for you, because when somebody says the wrong thing, they go, oh, we can't say that. We can't put that in just because this would ruffle feathers. So believe me, these counselors, these people, these hosts behind the mic, really, really, really care for the community. I've said that before, and I'm saying it again.

0:17:51 - (Natalie Moujalli): Do no harm, right, Derek?

0:17:53 - (Derrick Yeoh): The Hippocratic oath. My wife's a medico. So it's the hypocritical. And they're modeling it. Not physical harm, but even, you know, mental harm and emotional harm. So well done.

0:18:04 - (Eddie Reaiche): The thing I want to add, too, because Derek is our technician, so everyone has this vision of a technician who's unemot, logical, just getting everything right. But there's been a couple of episodes we've been doing, and Derek's been in there and had to literally walk out in tears because he was so affected by it. So he's a very emotional technician. And I need everyone to understand that this guy is not only just brilliant and smart at what he does, but he's also wholesome.

0:18:32 - (Eddie Reaiche): I think that's really important for people to know.

0:18:35 - (Natalie Moujalli): Very blessed with you, Derek.

0:18:36 - (Debbie Draybi): Thank you.

0:18:36 - (Derrick Yeoh): Thank you so much, guys.

0:18:38 - (Debbie Draybi): And, Derek, I think for me, like, we came at this completely raw and inexperienced in podcasting, and I know initially you just let us, you know, work it out, but then more and more, you've been much more proactive and directive in your style, and that's been amazing just to learn and to absorb all your tips and tricks on how to have conversations in a meaningful way, but also, you know, how to have that edge where, you know, there's that continuity and there's key messages.

0:19:08 - (Debbie Draybi): It's almost like you're taking the counselors out of us. But it's also an opportunity to be better podcasters which. Which is great. And I'm. I'm learning so much. It's a skill that I really am much more curious about. And so thank you. Thanks for your guidance, your leadership, and your coaching. It's been. It's been phenomenal.

0:19:25 - (Eddie Reaiche): We appreciate you, Derek.

0:19:26 - (Debbie Draybi): We love you, Derek. Okay, enough.

0:19:29 - (Derrick Yeoh): Thanks very much, guys.

0:19:31 - (Debbie Draybi): Just as we're wrapping up, you know, I just. Just want to really. The final, final message is please reach out. Connect with us. We'd love to hear from you. Not just feedback and comments, but also coming on and inviting yourself as a guest would be wonderful. You know, we have ideas of what we think people want to hear, but we also like that to be informed by you and your connections. So please reach out.

0:19:53 - (Derrick Yeoh): Could you do us a favor as well? Share Instagram reels with your mates. Share this podcast episode with your mates, because they're going to get so much out of it. Natalie.

0:20:06 - (Natalie Moujalli): Apparently I'm the social person as well as the social queen admin person, as.

0:20:11 - (Debbie Draybi): Well as the clickbait.

0:20:12 - (Natalie Moujalli): Clickbait program person.

0:20:17 - (Eddie Reaiche): Come on.

0:20:17 - (Debbie Draybi): She's multitasker extraordinary.

0:20:19 - (Eddie Reaiche): But the host.