Secrets Behind the Flowers - Melissa D'Cruz

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Finding Sanctuary, we sit down with Melissa D’Cruz—a powerhouse florist and wedding planner whose story is as inspiring as the blooms she works with. From dreaming of being a psychologist to becoming a trusted presence at some of life’s most emotional moments, Melissa opens up about how deep personal loss and grief reshaped her path and fuelled her passion for bringing comfort through creativity

Melissa shares how, as a single mum facing tough legal battles, she leaned on her faith and her village to not just survive, but thrive. Her journey is one of grit, grace, and giving back—whether it’s helping clients celebrate love or honour loss, or dreaming big about supporting single parents and those doing it tough.

If you’ve ever wondered how empathy and purpose can transform a business—or how beauty and pain can live side by side—this heartfelt chat will stay with you long after the final bloom fades.

Key Takeaways:

• Melissa D’Cruz’s journey highlights the power of combining personal passion with professional purpose to lead a meaningful and impactful life.
• Personal hardship and loss can open the door to deep professional fulfilment when met with empathy and a community-focused mindset.
• Finding purpose at work isn’t always about direct outcomes; creating a positive space for colleagues can also build strong, meaningful connections.
• Embracing faith and community support plays a vital role in navigating personal adversity and building resilience.
• Reflecting on personal trials can inspire new initiatives to support others facing similar challenges.

Notable Quotes:

“Everything you do and everyone you work for, do it as if you are serving God.” – Melissa D’Cruz

“You don’t know what battle people are fighting in life. Be kind.” – Melissa D’Cruz

“It’s amazing how God actually made that happen for me and used me in a way I never thought he would use me in.” – Melissa D’Cruz

“You could be dealing with somebody who’s going through tragedy and trauma.” – Melissa D’Cruz

“From being in the valley, you get up to a mountain, and it’s not short; it’s a long journey.” – Melissa D’Cruz

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Transcript

0:00:00 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Foreign.

0:00:04 - (Debbie Draybi): Welcome to Finding Sanctuary. Our shared conversations into how we think and feel and how we find peace and comfort in daily life. We get together with experts to chat about all things mental health, getting insights and understanding on the struggles of life. Welcome to another episode of Finding Sanctuary. I've got Nat here joining me again today, which is great. It's good to see you, Nat.

0:00:29 - (Natalie Moujalli): Hi, Deb. Thanks for having me, as always.

0:00:32 - (Debbie Draybi): Lovely to have you. And we've got this beautiful guest with us today and who actually needs no introduction in our community, but I'm still gonna introduce her, Melissa d' Cruz, who is a renowned florist, wedding planner and stylist. And I know, I'm sure a lot of our listeners are familiar with her incredible work, how she shows up in all our incredible celebrations, but also during our times of grief.

0:00:57 - (Debbie Draybi): I know you do weddings as well as funerals, and I know in our pregnancy conversation, in our preparation, we talk about those two extremes and how you manage that. One of the things I'm curious about, Melissa, is, you know, the things that drive you, your work. I know you've had your own challenges, your own grief and your own loss. And, you know, as you talk about your work, I see this incredible drive and this passion and this wonderful way of connecting with people. And I just wondered how. How that's influenced you, your own experiences and how that's allowed you to connect with people in the work that you do.

0:01:32 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Thank you for having me, ladies. It's a privilege and an honour to be here and have the opportunity to share my story. The ups and the downs, the highs and the lows, just coming and being able to freely speak and hopefully my journey can help others as well. So I started off as a florist. I wasn't going to be a florist. My dream was actually to become a psychologist. But my dad thought that I was a bit of a little softy, and he thought that maybe that wasn't going to be the right path for me. And he said, why don't you just go for work experience and try something?

0:02:10 - (Melissa D'Cruz): So I thought, you know what? I love flowers. I'll just go and work in a florist. That's how I started off. I did it as work experience. The lady who I worked for became like a very good friend of mine. It just started from there. I ended up working for her and became her apprentice during school holidays. And that's where my journey began. Then I got married at a very young age. I was 19. By the age of 21, I'd had my son.

0:02:40 - (Melissa D'Cruz): So I was married for about seven years. Unfortunately, that didn't last. And then I went through a lot of trials in my life. So I hit a very, very low point. I lost my dad. And it was really hard on my family because it was very sudden, very hard time. So six months later, my grandmother then passed away. We used the same funeral company for her funeral, and they fell in love with my flowers. So they actually asked me to go and work for them.

0:03:15 - (Melissa D'Cruz): And I was thinking, there's no way I would ever be able to do a job like that. They said, just think about it. It's a pretty straightforward job. All you have to do is take your catalog down to the families. You know, you don't have to see everybody, but there are special families that we'll send you down to. You just take your catalogue. You show the people through all the photos. They pick what they want, they give you a message, you send the invoice, and you leave.

0:03:45 - (Melissa D'Cruz): So I thought, you know what? Okay, well, I'll give it a go and see what happens. I started off going down to a few families, and very, very quickly, I became very familiar with a lot of the families because it was a strong Italian community that I was involved in in the northern beaches and some tragedies, like really severe tragedies, you know, people losing their children, freak accidents, things like that. And it was just amazing how God's hand ended up leading me into something that I thought was just going to be.

0:04:23 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I'm providing flowers, turned into something more of a ministry for me. And because I've always wanted to, you know, help people and work with people in a caring and loving nature. It's amazing how God actually made that happen for me and used me in a way I never thought he would use me in. So, you know, I'd go into people's homes and, you know, as soon as you walk in the door, they'd be, like, so comforted by the presence of somebody who's there to assist them and help them and make their flower arrangements for the loved one that they've just lost something very special.

0:05:03 - (Melissa D'Cruz): It turned into me receiving, like, phone calls and cards and messages from people saying, thank you so much for all the effort you put into the flowers for our loved one's funeral. Because the sadness we felt on the day when we looked at that casket cover, I know my mother would have loved that. Or, you know, and it was just going that extra mile for people that people really, really appreciated the extra things you would do for them. Like finding a rare flower that, you know, that person loved or if it was, you know, sadly to talk about this. But it is unfortunately, life that say they lost their little child.

0:05:41 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I used to feel so terrible to even I wouldn't even take money from them because I'd feel so guilty that they don't want their child to die. So how can I even think of taking a dollar from them? But, you know, I'd go out of my way to create beautiful things. And if they loved butterflies or whatever it may have been, I would stay up through the night and cut out shapes of foam and make these flower arrangements for them. And it was really just from the heart. But I know I speak about my dad a lot, but he was a very influential man.

0:06:17 - (Melissa D'Cruz): He was very strong in his faith. Him and my mother as well. And my dad always taught me, in your job, don't use it as a job. Okay. Yes, you earn money and you work, but everything you do and everyone you work for, do it as if you are serving God. And that is something I've always lived by. And that's how basically I really ran my business.

0:06:45 - (Debbie Draybi): Melissa, I think that's incredible. Just as you're talking, I see the passion and the inspiration that comes from your dad giving you that sense of meaning and purpose. Even as you talk about the funeral, the connections there, it started off as a conversation that was very transactional, but then it became about people and connecting with them and helping them heal in their journey. And I think that's really powerful.

0:07:10 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yeah.

0:07:11 - (Debbie Draybi): I'm wondering for our listeners who in their job might be feeling a bit empty and don't see a purpose or a need, what's something that you could guide them with to help them find a connection in what they do and a purpose and a meaning in the way that you've integrated your work.

0:07:26 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Look, I always think it's really good to have a look at your surroundings, like the people you work with. It may not even be something that it is in their actual job that they're helping somebody with, but it could be even a co worker or something like that where you notice somebody's not right, they've got some issues, whatever, whatever they are, home issues at home or whatever the issues may be health, whatever. Just you can like support people in a way like that as well.

0:07:59 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah. So it might not even be your job, might not be necessarily something that directly impacts people's lives in the way that yours does. But thinking about your co workers and impacting their lives and connecting with them is Such a powerful message. Thinking about finding meaning and purpose and being intentional when we show up at work. Nat, did you have anything that you're curious about?

0:08:21 - (Natalie Moujalli): You know, when I think of Melissa d' Cruz, I think of luxury and extravagance and celebration. So it's really interesting to hear this side of how this all started, which was it was born out of grief and necessity and to hear that you had struggles early on in your life and that you've built yourself up to this. It's just. It's different to what I had in my head of the image of you. And I think that that's actually incredibly important because, you know, people do open Instagram or socials and see all these gorgeous flowers and all the luxury that you present.

0:08:59 - (Natalie Moujalli): And it's important for them to know that behind that, which is behind everybody's success story is sometimes pain and struggle and suffering and that you've taken that you've allowed that to bear fruit in your life and you've allowed God to bear fruit in your life through your talents and your gifts. And I think that's so beautiful. Can you tell us a little bit more about your journey? We spoke yesterday a little bit on our pre recording Zoom about you have a heart for people who struggle with home homelessness and it's something that you see yourself doing in the future.

0:09:35 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Like you were saying, I have had a lot of struggles and I was a single mum for 17 years and it wasn't always easy at all. So coming from a very supportive Lebanese family, everybody's always there to help you out. But it didn't matter how many people I had around me, there was a sense of loneliness as well. I had a son to provide for. I was going through a horrible court battle for seven years. I would stress about where I was going to get the money from to represent myself in court, to pay for, you know, all legal fees, that they're not cheap.

0:10:16 - (Melissa D'Cruz): It was a lot of money. And there were days where I'm thinking and praying, please, Lord, I don't know where you are going to send the money from. I don't know how this money is going to come. But somehow God would always find a way of making that happen. And I'm not talking small dollars. Like I did go through not a good court battle. So cost a lot of money over that time. So there were times where I would feel bad to tell people I don't really have money to eat. I have to pay my son's school fees and I have to feed him and Clothe him and worry about all of that stuff.

0:10:57 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I wouldn't be left with a lot of money. Sometimes from there, I always would look and think, one day I would really love to have a ministry in helping single parents, not just mothers, because sometimes the tables are turned. It's not always the mother that is going through the grief. Sometimes the dads also get really hardly done by. So it depends on the situation. So really it's something more helping single parents.

0:11:27 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I had an experience where I was invited to a beautiful luncheon, a women's luncheon, and it was from St. Vincent de Paul. And one of the speakers was up on the stage. And I think this is a moment where I had a revelation. And it just took me back to my lowest point. And she was talking about this mother who had four children. They were living in a car because it was an abusive relationship. She had nowhere else to go.

0:11:57 - (Melissa D'Cruz): And the mother would go up and get the sandwich packs, and she was going week after week. And then the mother was apologizing, saying, I'm really sorry that I'm coming constantly, but if I don't come, my daughter needs a tooth fixed and I won't have money for the dentist, so I have to fix her tooth. And I was crying my heart out because it took me back and brought horrible memories back to me. And I thought, there are so many people out there who need help.

0:12:27 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I'm very blessed now. I have a wonderful business, and I don't take that for granted. I know God has really blessed me with that, so why would I not want to share what I have now become? So, literally, from being in the valley, you get up to a mountain and it's not a short. It doesn't happen instantly. It's a long journey. So like I said, I was a single mother for 17 years before I met my now wonderful husband.

0:12:59 - (Melissa D'Cruz): And he definitely was the answer to all my prayers and more because he supported me and he's an amazing role model for my son, which is really what he needed. That's what I would love to do. I would love to get out there and, you know, help for whatever homeless reason, but especially single parents.

0:13:20 - (Debbie Draybi): I think that's incredible. The purpose that you continue to find and the meaning and seeing that you're in a position now where you have the resources you didn't have once, and being able to find opportunities to connect with and support people who may be struggling in the way that you were, that's just a beautiful reflection of who you are as a person. And that recognition of the struggles and trying to reach others that are less fortunate.

0:13:44 - (Debbie Draybi): You've been there. You've walked that journey. I'm wondering if, you know, some of our listeners are in the midst of that chaos and that trauma and that isolation. What, you know, what's something that you wish you heard at the time that would have been really useful to help you keep going?

0:14:01 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I think now that I look back, especially in the court battle, I think sometimes what happens is you end up getting so caught up in that battle that you forget about everything else around you. You don't really take into consideration as much as how this is not only going to impact yourself, your child, and your whole family. I would look back and I would think, like, what help can I get? What else can I do?

0:14:33 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Because there is a lot of help out there.

0:14:36 - (Natalie Moujalli): So, like, what resources can you access to to make this bleed out less into your life?

0:14:43 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yeah. Instead of getting caught up in the fear, the anger, the embarrassment of. Also, in our culture, divorce is like, oh, she's getting divorced. But they don't understand the reason behind it. And sometimes there's a lot of shame attached to that. And, you know, a lot of private and personal issues happen, and it's not for everybody's ears. But if there were more resources out there that people were aware of, that's what I think would help a lot.

0:15:12 - (Debbie Draybi): Of people in the midst of that chaos. It's very consuming, and it sounds like it's very isolating as well.

0:15:18 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yes.

0:15:18 - (Debbie Draybi): Particularly when you have the fear, the shame, the things that really disconnect you from the beautiful things that bring us together in our community that can also rip us apart.

0:15:28 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yeah.

0:15:30 - (Debbie Draybi): So what I'm hearing is advice around finding support and not doing it alone.

0:15:35 - (Melissa D'Cruz): And definitely therapy, honestly, like, not only just from a spiritual point of view. Like, I did get a lot of support from, you know, priests and a lot of friends of faith. I had a lot of prayer, and I had a lot of advice from priests and a lot of help. So I was blessed. But I think it's also good to have an outsider to speak to, you know, but a professional outsider. I did actually seek help for my son especially, and also for myself. So I did go and see a psychologist for a while, and I did find that that really helped me. Gave me, you know, a lot of pointers, a lot of tips. And she was such a lovely lady. She was, you know, not judgmental. She would really, really help and assist, which was great.

0:16:28 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah. It's incredible when you have that opportunity to really have Some separation from the legal battle and all the other chaos, and get. And seek some professional guidance on how to reconnect with yourself.

0:16:39 - (Melissa D'Cruz): That's right.

0:16:40 - (Debbie Draybi): And, Melissa, I'm wondering if we can explore a bit about the joy and the celebrations and the weddings that you plan and also are involved in. Because we have. We've had a series around.

0:16:51 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yeah.

0:16:51 - (Debbie Draybi): And we're just wondering about what that experience is like. Is it different, or do you find the connections with people? How does it work?

0:16:59 - (Melissa D'Cruz): So in my business, I'm once again blessed to have a lot of families that, you know, return. So it's a repeat business. So usually if one daughter or son comes, I end up doing majority of the family and the bridesmaids and the cousins when they're all getting married, which is very nice. So it's become like a family. The whole business, it's just like, oh, that girl. Feels like my daughter is getting married now.

0:17:24 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I've built a lot of beautiful friendships around it. So my husband and I attend a lot of weddings because, you know, as you get to know those families, you become part of it. You join in the celebration with a lot of them.

0:17:39 - (Natalie Moujalli): And you've just given us an example of how much of a good man he is.

0:17:42 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yeah, he goes to all those weddings.

0:17:45 - (Debbie Draybi): All those weddings.

0:17:46 - (Melissa D'Cruz): She knows how to have a good time. He's a very good man. As a little girl, you always dream about your wedding. And when I first got married, it was like, I thought this was gonna be like a fairy tale. And every girl dreams of their wedding. And I've always loved weddings and wedding dresses and all of that. So I love everything about weddings. But it is an absolute joy doing weddings. Like, it's hard work.

0:18:14 - (Melissa D'Cruz): People think it's an easy job. It's not actually easy at all. And people think it's very glamorous. It's sometimes quite the opposite. Like, if you came to my warehouse, you would see flowers everywhere, and it's chaos, it's hectic, and it's full on. We're on time restrictions, and there's a lot of pressure. Like I said, even when you're doing multiple members of a family, you've got to think of ways of making every single wedding different.

0:18:42 - (Melissa D'Cruz): But that's part of the joy and creating beautiful things with beautiful flowers. So, yeah, I love it. It's my passion.

0:18:50 - (Debbie Draybi): You mentioned, you know, that dream of getting married and. And then that, obviously, you know, you have mentioned your marriage breaking down. What was that like? How did that impact you with your work? I'm guessing you continued to do weddings. Yes. After that.

0:19:04 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Look, it was hard at the start, but I really just threw myself into my work so much that I don't think I gave myself time to think of anything else. It was like I needed to earn the money I needed. It became a drive for me. I have to protect my son, I have to help, I have to provide for this child and I've got to do every single thing in my power to work and strive. I could have sort of curled up in a ball and said, you know what, I can't do this.

0:19:40 - (Melissa D'Cruz): But I thought, nah, I haven't been raised like that. I'm on a mission now and that's what I had to do. But I still had the love for weddings. I still really did. I had a little break for a while from weddings, but I got back into it very quickly.

0:20:00 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, it sounds like a bit of separation was useful, particularly when you're in the midst of that grief and loss, having some time off and then reconnecting and finding the joy in what you absolutely love.

0:20:11 - (Melissa D'Cruz): That's it. And you do need that time for healing for yourself, you know, you really do. I think that's another important thing because I did find for a while, like I said, I threw myself into it and I got too overwhelmed and then too overworked and then I was exhausted and then I did go through a bit of a low period where unfortunately one of my sister in law got sick and passed away from cancer. And I stopped focusing on my business for a while because I just wanted to be there for my family because they were so wonderful to me.

0:20:48 - (Melissa D'Cruz): And I started not being as attentive as I used to be. And I found that it got me into a little bit of trouble where I wasn't so good at my attention to detail because I had so much other stress. So I learned a big lesson from that. I was taking on too much. So I sort of pulled back a little bit, pulled myself together, eventually got back into things.

0:21:15 - (Natalie Moujalli): We had Berta AZI on a few episodes ago and she talks a little bit about how we have to get through things and we're in survival mode and then at some point that has to stop and you have to kind of take stock, take a minute, regather yourself and then choose how you're going to re enter life. So it sounds like that's exactly what you did.

0:21:37 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yeah.

0:21:37 - (Natalie Moujalli): And I think it's very necessary for healing.

0:21:40 - (Melissa D'Cruz): So do I. Yeah. Because sometimes you can sort of suppress those emotions and then in the End, it's just, it's no good.

0:21:49 - (Debbie Draybi): So for people who experience that losses and they're avoiding their healing journey by working and overworking and getting so enmeshed in that, you know, what advice would you give them about the importance of healing and what can help them, motivate them to maybe take a pause and heal?

0:22:05 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yeah, I think it's 100% necessary to stop. I understand you do have to provide for your family or whatever your situation may be, but you're no good to anybody. Because I was almost at this point of like a nervous breakdown, literally not sleeping. There would be days where I would work three days straight and I may not have had any sleep and hardly any food and I was just so exhausted and I was no good to anybody.

0:22:36 - (Melissa D'Cruz): So I think you really do have to stop and give yourself a little bit of that nurturing. And I got a lot of nurturing through my faith. So to me, my faith, it is really the most important thing. And I'm never shy to say that if it wasn't for Christ literally picking me up from the pit of hell that I felt like I was in, because that's what you literally feel like when you're at your lowest point. I wouldn't be where I am today without him.

0:23:07 - (Melissa D'Cruz): If you have this and you are into your faith, you know, your support from your church family, that was very important to me.

0:23:16 - (Debbie Draybi): You know, you've had periods where you've been isolated. You know, for those that are trying to do it on their own, you know, what's advice that you can give around how to create families for yourself and connect with people that might be outside of your birth family.

0:23:31 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yeah, it's really good to have like minded people around you and that's what's important. Because I know when I was getting like a bit of help for my son and myself, I remember the psychologist saying to me, you know, you've got to be very careful now and watchful because broken homes, these things can actually happen. Your kid can go on a path that is very bad, could get involved in gangs, could get involved in drugs or whatever it may be.

0:24:01 - (Melissa D'Cruz): And you've got to be there helping your child. And I think being around people like mums from the school, I made a lot of beautiful friendships through that. And people that I'm still friends with 25 years later, we catch up every couple weeks. And I think that is very important. If you have children and they're still at school making those beautiful friendships there and they become lifelong friendships, friends and maybe Even people in your work or church group.

0:24:32 - (Debbie Draybi): So as you're going through life, stop and look around you and see who's there. And we've got, you know, resources and people that we can access if we just pause.

0:24:40 - (Melissa D'Cruz): That's it.

0:24:41 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah.

0:24:41 - (Melissa D'Cruz): A saying is stop and smell the roses.

0:24:44 - (Debbie Draybi): Yes, says the florist. Natalie, is there anything else that you want to explore? I think that would be useful for people to know about or hear about.

0:24:57 - (Natalie Moujalli): I think that Melissa brings up such an important point about support networks. When we're going through our trials and our sufferings, I believe that God designed it, that we are in communion with others and himself. And that's what you're talking about. I think that it's incredibly important to find yourself, your people. You know, you can be surrounded by many people, but they may not be actually your people.

0:25:23 - (Natalie Moujalli): Unless you feel peace, unless you feel connected with them, and unless you feel like you can be completely yourself and vulnerable around them, they may not be your people. So find your people so that you can carry the burdens of life together and it will be lighter.

0:25:40 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Absolutely. I agree with that.

0:25:42 - (Debbie Draybi): I mean, how do you recognize that if you're feeling quite isolated, how do you recognize your people? I know you've talked about finding like minded people. What's something that gives you a sense that, okay, this is my person or my people?

0:25:55 - (Natalie Moujalli): At the risk of going down a path that I don't know too much about, I know that it's somewhere that your nervous system feels calm. So when you're around people or in a situation and you feel peace and calm, I think that's probably your space. But if you feel anxious and if you feel like you can't be yourself and if you feel like you're trying to impress people and that might not be where you need to be.

0:26:22 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Personally, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I don't know why, but if I'm feeling uneasy around somebody and I'm feeling this person's probably not someone I should be mixing with. Not to be rude. Yeah, but fine as an acquaintance, but someone close, like your people. I do get a sick feeling in my stomach. And I take that as a sign.

0:26:47 - (Debbie Draybi): What do you think, Deb? Yeah, I always get this. This thing with my sister. Sometimes when we meet like minded people, she says they're so hay because it's like this almost. And hay for those don't understand Arabic, it means like you just. It's a relief there's something that you let go of and you're not abandoning yourself. You're being true to yourself and you feel this almost magnetic energy. You're drawn to them.

0:27:14 - (Debbie Draybi): And part of it is noticing exactly what you said, both of you, your body. And it doesn't have to be someone that thinks in the same way. They could be having ideas that are quite different to yours, but. But they're presented in a way that's not threatening, it's calming. Yeah. So hey is the buzzword they say. Hope she doesn't mind me quoting her.

0:27:40 - (Melissa D'Cruz): So one thing I probably do want to add is about how we can actually reach out to people in need like that. So that is something that you mean.

0:27:50 - (Natalie Moujalli): Like people who feel isolated?

0:27:52 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Yeah, people who feel isolated, they don't know where to go. They don't know who to go to. I just feel that, look, there probably are places out there. I'm sure there has to be. But trying to create more awareness about that, I think that's a bit of a missing link.

0:28:10 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah.

0:28:10 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Personally.

0:28:12 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, absolutely.

0:28:13 - (Natalie Moujalli): I think what Melissa's saying is stay tuned.

0:28:15 - (Debbie Draybi): Watch this space.

0:28:16 - (Melissa D'Cruz): Watch this space.

0:28:17 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, yeah.

0:28:19 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I say that in a lot of my. I always say watch this space.

0:28:25 - (Debbie Draybi): Okay.

0:28:25 - (Melissa D'Cruz): If I'm going into a venue and I do a little pre, this is what the room looks like now and stay tuned because you're going to see what it's going to turn into. So this is another one of them.

0:28:35 - (Natalie Moujalli): So watch this space for some missionary work.

0:28:40 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah. Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, I'm going to add to that. Watch this space. You said something earlier which struck me as well, around finding your people having an awareness of the existing space as well. Like if you do a school drop off, there could be mums hanging out at the cafe saying hello. You never know the connections that you can create by taking a pause and having an awareness of the space around you and the people around you. Because we are busy.

0:29:06 - (Debbie Draybi): I get it. I'm a working mum and I often the drop offs were very rushed and I drive past the cafe with the stay at home mums with resentment. But you know, then occasionally I'd stop and say hello and the incredible conversations emerge.

0:29:24 - (Natalie Moujalli): And I've been told just to smile more. It's that simple.

0:29:28 - (Debbie Draybi): Or get a dog. Automatic connector. Yeah. So Melissa, you know, just as we're talking, I'm wondering about a key message in the work that you do and something that you've learned and that you want to share with our listeners.

0:29:43 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I would say stay true to yourself. Always be the example that you want your children to be what you want your children to grow up and be. You should be that example all the time, Remain Christlike, because that is very important to me. I know nobody's perfect. I've certainly had my fair share of things that I'm not proud of that I've done. But just knowing that, going back to the shame and all of that, of what I've been through, there have been many times where I haven't felt worthy.

0:30:18 - (Melissa D'Cruz): So going back to realising and knowing that Christ loves me, that's very, very important. And not taking life for granted. Because in my job, I see the highs and the lows. I see how one minute you could be celebrating at a wedding and the next moment there could be a severe tragedy. And I've had experience of that where I did a wedding for a couple on the Saturday they went away to their honeymoon. On the Monday, I had a phone call from them.

0:30:49 - (Melissa D'Cruz): I was expecting that phone call was going to be, Mel, thanks so much. The flowers were beautiful, but instead I got tears. The bride and the groom were hysterically crying. And unfortunately, one of them had lost a sibling through a very, very sad situation of murder. And he was a young boy, and they were ringing to talk about the funeral flowers. And to me, that is something that is so sad. Like, one minute they're celebrating and the next moment their sibling gets taken.

0:31:30 - (Melissa D'Cruz): So don't take life for granted. Be kind to people. Because sometimes you don't know what people's battles are like. What you said to me at the start, Mel, when I first thought about you and I heard about you, I see the business you have and your Instagram page is just, like, full of joy. But if I had an Instagram page for the funerals that I do, it would be so sad because there's so much tragedy. And I think sometimes when we're dealing with people, we sort of take it for granted that, oh, we just want a service and we just want everybody to do what I need them to do. And emotions and feelings don't really get involved. It's just like a transaction.

0:32:17 - (Melissa D'Cruz): But you could be dealing with somebody who's going through, like, tragedy and trauma. So my advice to people is just be kind, because you don't know what battle people are fighting in life.

0:32:30 - (Debbie Draybi): Thanks for that example. Obviously, very extreme, but an incredible message of being able to really honor the moment that we're in and enjoy and embrace the celebrations, but also recognize that life is unexpected. Thank you.

0:32:46 - (Melissa D'Cruz): It's beautiful.

0:32:46 - (Debbie Draybi): Thanks, Mel. I hope this episode has helped you find sanctuary in this exciting journey of life. All of the resources we've mentioned in this episode are found in the podcast Notes. If you need some assistance with any of the topics discussed in today's episode, then please Visit our website, HSHL.org au if you have any thoughts, comments or ideas, please leave us a comment on Spotify. Alternatively, send us an email@adminshl.org

0:33:28 - (Debbie Draybi): au. You and your mental health matters to us, and we hope you get one step closer in finding sanctuary. Bye for now.