School Anxiety, Stress and Mental Well- Being

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Key Takeaways:

•          Mental health experts are not immune to personal struggles, highlighting the need for self-care and support even among professionals.

•          Current generations are placing significant self-imposed academic pressure, often fueled more by societal expectations than parental ones.

•          Proactive approaches to mental health, such as early community engagement and open discussions, are crucial for prevention rather than just intervention.

•          Parents and students alike grapple with the balance between academic achievement and emotional well-being, signaling the urgency for practical support strategies.

•          Exam stress and procrastination are exacerbated by a quest for perfection, underlining the necessity for a change in mindset towards academic performance.

Notable Quotes:

•          “As a community, we’re very good at coming together in celebrations… I think we gotta get better at coming together with sharing our pain.” - Debbie Draybi

•          “I do feel the culture right now isn't so much that we're putting pressure on our child, but rather, them putting pressure on themselves.” - Natalie Moujalli

•          “The anxiety is always about what can happen - What if I fail? What if I don’t know the answer?” - Eddie Reaiche

•          P's get Degrees - Eddie Reaiche

Engage with the heartwarming and insightful discussions of Finding Sanctuary by listening to the full episode. Join Debbie Draybi, Natalie Moujalli, and Eddie Reaiche as they unravel layers of shared human experiences, guide you through the nuanced landscape of mental wellness, and infuse a sense of community-based empowerment in your daily life. Don’t miss out on enriching content like this - stay connected for more episodes that promise to bring peace and understanding to the forefront of our collective journey.

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Transcript

0:00:04 Debbie Draybi: Welcome to Finding Sanctuary. Our shared conversations into how we think and feel and how we find peace and comfort in daily life. We get together with experts to chat about all things mental health, getting insights and understanding on the struggles of life. My name is Debie Drabby, and I’m a psychologist and a proud maronite woman and a mother of three children. And I’m passionate about bringing people together to share their stories, to support each other through life and all its beauty and all its pain.

0:00:33 Debbie Draybi: I look forward to hearing from you in this podcast series as we engage in conversations around our shared experiences as a community. We love to hear what you think of the podcast. So please subscribe, share like and comment wherever you get your podcast. And so we’re back for another episode. I’m really excited again. I’m jumping my feet because we’ve got Natalie Majjali joining us again for the first time, and also Eddie Rishi’s here, of course. So thank you and welcome back, Nat.

0:01:05 Natalie Moujalli: Hi, Deb.

0:01:06 Debbie Draybi: Thanks for five months without you.

0:01:08 Natalie Moujalli: I miss, missed you guys. Two genuinely missed you guys.

0:01:53 Debbie Draybi:  Yeah. Just wondering about, you know, I know that you’ve been instrumental in the evolution of this podcast, and I just wondered about some of your thoughts in your time away or whether you’ve had any feedback or anything that you’d like to share. I know we’ve had that conversation without you. I’m conscious of that and just wanted to bring you into that.

0:02:14 Natalie Moujalli: Thanks, Deb. It has felt like a long time. A lot has happened since, you know, we have had Easter and Christmas and it was very, very busy. But in the meantime, I’ve been working, working a lot on Hill Sanctuary House, which is the charitable service that operates alongside Christ the Redeemer. And it’s concerned with mental health and that is really the project that funds this podcast. So it’s been really interesting to invest a little bit more of myself into it and look at how the podcast has started to introduce to the community the issues that we want to tackle and the issues that we want to bring to the surface for us to start looking at prevention of certain things rather than intervention.

0:03:00 Natalie Moujalli: I’ve really spent some time reflecting on how to do that. Obviously, for me, the best way to do that is to engage with a very skilled set of personalities like yourselves, where we can have these deep conversations and, you know, start discussing how to move forward as a community.

0:03:20 Debbie Draybi: Look, I know we’ve had some great conversations outside of here, and you. Yes, we haven’t met the microphone for a while, but I know we’ve talked a lot in the break, which has been amazing. I always like getting your phone calls and just being creative together, and it’s incredible what emerges when our minds meet.

0:03:37 Natalie Moujalli: Yeah, no, definitely. Thank you for saying that. You look forward to getting my phone. Cause not everyone does. I’m doing a lot of people’s heads in, in the office. Can we do this? Can we do this? How do we do this? Let’s do this now. They’re like, everyone pump your brakes. Calm down. There’s plenty of time.

0:03:55 Debbie Draybi: Yeah, there’s a lot of energy and there’s a lot of creativity and problem solving and a lot of doing. So, yeah, I can see that people are starting to avoid you.

0:04:04 Natalie Moujalli: Definitely starting to avoid.

0:04:06 Debbie Draybi: Here we go. What does she want now? Look, one of our very first podcasts was around. We’re here to support building a community and developing a community together. And I think it’s just been very inspiring watching you flourish and be such an instrumental part of that. And you do a lot of that in the background. What stands out for me is how resourceful you are. You know, it’s just incredible. And how many contacts you have.

0:04:33 Debbie Draybi: I mean, I know you’re a lab and we always have contacts, but you’re like a next level lab.

0:04:38 Natalie Moujalli: It’s taken years and years and years, I know, to develop those contacts.

0:04:42 Debbie Draybi: Yeah, I think it’s a credit to you. Cause you build relationships well and, you know, you’re someone who is incredibly authentic and honest and giving and is incredibly generous, and I think that people are drawn to that.

0:04:57 Natalie Moujalli: Thanks, T. You’re making me blush now too much.

0:04:59 Eddie Reaiche: You should see what the bless joing from this.

0:05:02 Natalie Moujalli: I was joking about the confidence booster.

0:05:05 Debbie Draybi: I wasn’t. You can’t joke about things like that to me.

0:05:08 Eddie Reaiche: Should see the body language.

0:05:09 Natalie Moujalli: Gosh, she signaling her to wrap it, upap it up, wrap it up, Debbie. But thank you.

0:05:17 Debbie Draybi: You know, Eddie, yourself as well, just there is such a nice energy when we come together. And to me it’s really empowering because we do have a beautiful, highly resourced community, but it’s just how do we engage them and bring people together? And I think you’ve both got really great ways of doing that in all the work that you’ve done in the community, not just with the Hills sanctuary, but also your work at St. Joseph’s. And it’s been lovely seeing that connection and two parishes coming together as well.

0:05:48 Eddie Reaiche: But I gotta tell you, Deb, I’m in awe of the brains that I surround myself with, including yourself, because you’re the one who dishes out the compliments to everybody. You don’t get complimented yourself and that you are resourceful. And you should see her. She’s four foot nothing. She’s like a pocket rocket. But she’s so good at what she does. And then the fact that you sit here as a host every time and go through every session and the things you come out with is just extraordinary.

0:06:20 Eddie Reaiche: Like I said, I’m in awe of the brains that are presented in front of me, and so I’m more humble than either of you. So I feel great. And I just need you to know that as well, and the listeners to know how smart some of these people are that you listen to.

0:06:35 Debbie Draybi: Well, I have to admit that today I’ve got a bit of assistance with chocolate. I did bring a stash from Easter. So, yeah, I think that I find that quite energizing, too.

0:06:46 Natalie Moujalli: Doesn’t it generate those endorphins?

0:06:49 Debbie Draybi: Y absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. It’s great to come together. It’s great to create and co design, you know, with you, the three of us, I think we started together, and it’s just been wonderful in that break, just thinking about the potential and the future of this podcast, but also your vision in extending that to workshops and activities within the community. And as you said, nat, we wantna be proactive.

0:07:15 Debbie Draybi: We don’t just wa wantn be reactive and putting out fires and, you know, managing crisis in the community, which I know you’ve both done in your practices. People usually come to you when it’s at that breaking point, and it is at a crisis point. Wen Toa reach out and bring people in earlier.

0:07:32 Natalie Moujalli: Yeah. I mean, not only do we see it in our practice professionally, but very much so personally. Like, I know I can speak for myself when I do that like, I wait until I’m hanging by the very last thread before I’ll get help, you know? So it’s not just something that other people experience, it’s something that even as a professional, I feel I should know better. But I fall victim to that as well. It’s hard.

0:07:58 Eddie Reaiche: It’s a common trait, I think, for everybody, because we’re so wrapped up in what we can do and what we can provide, we forget about ourselves because we’re not as import. We think our client is, for instance. That’s the way I feel. And so by the time you’ve seen one after the other after the other after the other, and you wonder why when you get home, you don’t want to talk, you don’t want to do anything, you just want to sit down and just watch tv, just do mind numbing stuff.

0:08:24 Eddie Reaiche: But you don’t realize it. If you do that often enough, then you can start getting what they call compassion fatigue. And as soon as you start noticing that, that’s our cue to say, well, hold it back, pull the reins. Because really, we have to be the best version of ourselves for our clients, and it’s for them that we’re doing this. So if we’re not looking after ourselves, we can’t look after them.

0:08:50 Debbie Draybi: Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s really important, Eddie, as you say that and that too, when you think about and you explore your help seeking, and often you leave that and you delay it, because there’s expectation that we can cope, we should cope. We’ve got the skills and the training to do that, but we’re people, too, and, you know, we’re vulnerable, we’re weak. We need each other and we need support. And I think that’s really important, that we’re engaging in self care, and it’s not selfish and being really intentional about that, because sometimes we do show up for everyone and give and support, but understanding that we need to turn that inwards and show up for ourself and support ourselves, but also be kind to ourselves and say nice things.

0:09:37 Natalie Moujalli: Yeah. I think a very common thing I say to my family and friends is like, I’m human, too. If I’ve lost my temper or if I’m anxious or if I’m not thinking about something rationally, there’s this expectation, you know, you’re a psychologist. You should know better. I do rationally, but inside of me is this little two year old child that’s throwing a tantrum, and I can’t do anything about that. Yeah, I try.

0:10:01 Debbie Draybi: Yeah.

0:10:01 Eddie Reaiche: It’s funny because the only people who really understand this are people in our profession, people because we go through it, our families don’t understand because as far as they’re concerned, we just sit there for an hour and just listen to people’s problems. What’s the big deal? What’s so tough about that? It’s not a real job. The real job is if you’re laying concrete or a real job is doing construction work.

0:10:24 Eddie Reaiche: But sitting there listening to people can’t be that hard.

0:10:27 Natalie Moujalli: Yeah, but I also feel like there’s a compliment in it. It’s like, you know, they expect more for you and from you because they feel you no better. And it’s a compliment, but it’s also. It’s not reality. We are just as we are all flawed and we all have weaknesses and strengths and, you know, it’s about owning those and working towards highlighting our strengths and working on our weaknesses as a whole.

0:10:54 Debbie Draybi: Yeah, yeah. And I think knowledge and skills has its place, but it’s the practice that is tricky. And you don’t question when an oncologist gets cancer, do you? That’s their specialty, but they’re not immune from it. And psychologists, counselors, mental health clinicians. We’re not immune to challenges. Challenges. And, you know, we have periods where we don’t cope and we struggle and we re stressed and we have conflict and we do all that.

0:11:23 Eddie Reaiche: Absolutely.

0:11:24 Debbie Draybi: The are normal things that we do as humans. But yeah, I think you’re right. That expectation maybe is a bit different, but the way I always my rationale behind it and that what helps me cope with it is, you know, anyone in any professional or skill, often when that comes to using it for themselves, they neglect it. Like builders who have houses that are falling apart and painters who still need to do all those paint jobs in their own house.

0:11:50 Debbie Draybi: I mean, often they use their skills outside more readily. One, because they get paid for it, and two, because once they get home they’re too depleted and exhausted that they’re not able to necessarily have the time to invest you fixing their house or renovating becausee they’ve got all these multiple projects going on outside. And I think it’s the same with our profession is that we do a lot of that externally. And when it comes to ourselves or our families, sometimes I feel a lot.

0:12:17 Eddie Reaiche: When after a long day and then I come home and it’s almost like coming to your sanctuary where you just left alone. And then your daughter, don’t take this personally. When your daughter comes up says, dad, can I talk to you about something and then you take a deep breath and you think, sure, what’s wrong? Dalling? They start telling you about their problems and you’re trying to engage in what’s going on and help them throughow it and appear as a endearing dad, not as a counselor.

0:12:49 Eddie Reaiche: And it’s so hard to do. And then when she feels okay and she walks away and you kind of just shake your head and think, will this stop? Then your wife comes up and then that changes totally. Her tone changes. What do you want?

0:13:04 Natalie Moujalli: She doesn’t get the same grace.

0:13:06 Debbie Draybi: No. Make an avointment. Dad’s little so dling office hours are over. Please call back. Scre business hours.

0:13:15 Eddie Reaiche: Where’s my dinner?

0:13:20 Debbie Draybi: Look, you know, it’s always good to have a laugh with you and to reconnect and, you know, have these important conversations of shared experiences. But you know, what we show and what we recognize is, yeah, we have very similar professions and skills and work life, but also, also, it’s experienced differently, you know, depending on our context, but also at different points in our life and have different aged children. And so just being able to reflect on that you and to our listeners as well, around the importance of coming together with like minded people, people that you share common, whether it’s professions or skills or you’re at the same point in your life or your kids are the same age, you know, the power.

0:14:03 Natalie Moujalli: Of that connection, even this, the same values and morals. I think it’s important. It’s that iron sharpens. Iron concept of being around similar people with similar expectations or similar understanding on what life’s about will help you grow.

0:14:22 Eddie Reaiche: You know, I wonder if I can ask you guys, caus just came to mind. Your kids, how old are they?

0:14:29 Debbie Draybi: I’ve got three. I said, I’ve got a girl, elest Bella. And then my son James is 14. And then my little one, Sarah is twelve. She’s just started high school. So one that’s at Un Andi second year and one that’s in year ten and one that’s just started high school.

0:14:47 Eddie Reaiche: Awesome about you netD.

0:14:50 Natalie Moujalli: So where Debbie ends, I begin. I’ve got in year seven, one in year four, and one in year one.

0:14:57 Eddie Reaiche: Right.

0:14:58 Natalie Moujalli: And my year seven son is on a five day camp right now. So speaking of, you know, should know better, should be more rational. Should be okay with separation anxiety.

0:15:10 Debbie Draybi: Not on steroids.

0:15:12 Natalie Moujalli: It’s raining. It’s been raining for three days non stop.

0:15:14 Debbie Draybi: And I’m thinking, is he wet?

0:15:16 Natalie Moujalli: Is he cold? What is happening?

0:15:17 Debbie Draybi: Has he eaten.

0:15:18 Eddie Reaiche: Oh, my God, what a mum.

0:15:20 Debbie Draybi: You know the bagg he comes home with? Just put it straight in the be ab. Don’t even bother washing. I have no doubt that’s straight in the viin. It’s gonna be soaked to the bone. That’s probably helping your anxiety a lot.

0:15:31 Eddie Reaiche: I was just thinking, because all my kids, they’re all adults now, they’re married and doing their professions and stuff. I was just curious about.

0:15:40 Debbie Draybi: And you still look like 21.

0:15:43 Eddie Reaiche: No, Max, thank God. This is radio. Everyone will actually believe you. I was just thinking about kids, and I always think about this time of the year, particularly with teenagers and moving towards HSC season. Everyone thinks about, I’ll worry about it when it gets to it. I’ll worry about when it gets to it. And I wonder if we can talk a little bit about when our kids get to that stage where they start procrastinating or they start getting this exam anxiety. I wonder if we can have a little chat about that especially, you know.

0:16:21 Debbie Draybi: As Nat was saying, thinking about that prevention and exploring some strategies, how to tackle that even. I mean, you’re saying, like in the earlier years before they even get to high school.

0:16:33 Eddie Reaiche: Yeah. Procrastination starts at early years sometimes, but then it heightened as you year closer to the HSC and then even worse. I think it uni and I procrastinate when I get to my assignments. So I’m just wondering, just personal experience, if you can share some of that.

0:16:51 Debbie Draybi: Yeah, yeah, look. Yeah, it’s a complex one because I see my three kids are all very different. One’s highly academic and has, you know, pretty high level anxiety around and procrastinating and, you know, very high achieving. And, yeah, this has been very heightened over the years, definitely. I think what we talked about earlier, building that sort of muscle of engaging and doing, trying and, you know, accepting that it’s not always gonna be perfect.

0:17:21 Debbie Draybi: But sometimes that procrastination, what feeds it is this desire to have a polished, perfect product and avoiding it until their perception is, I’m ready to do it in that way and present it in that way, rather than just testing it, failing, but being comfortable in that failure and sitting with the uncertainty and the unknown. And then, you know, my son’s a different personality where he just doesn’t have that interest necessarily in academic or structured learning, but, you know, it’s quite bright, but just engages in a very different way and has a bit of a disconnect from it and a bit more removed and definitely much more relaxed.

0:17:59 Debbie Draybi: So it’not it’s interesting watching those personalities and the impact that that has too. But yeah, absolutely. I think just trying to reinforce the importance of trying testing and being comfortable with failure and sitting with it and knowing that perfect polish product doesn’t just happen. It takes a lot of effort and trials and failure. Understanding that the world doesn’t end if you fail. You get to try again.

0:18:25 Eddie Reaiche: How? As a mum. Because I think this is really important because I get really concerned when you listen to numbers of suicide rates, particularly with high school students now, which is increaseasing. And I think this is s an important thing I’d like to talk about in regards to what are your expectations of your kids in exams given though.

0:18:47 Debbie Draybi: I have a very high performing childhood. Puts a lot of pressure on herself. I do question where that comes from and I do ask her that. We have a bit of tension around. It’s not coming from me. I’ve never expected you to perform at that level or had any desire for you to have a pathway that she’s engaged in. And I think about that and I question myself like why she has so much pressure and I question where it comes from. And I do ask her that, you know, sometimes it escalates to the point of just leave uni and go and work at Woolies’s. I don’t. I just want you to be happy. I don’t want you to have all this pressure which I see is so overwhelming for her.

0:19:26 Debbie Draybi: So, yeah, I think it’s a hard one. I haven’t got it right. And then with my son, who does the absolute bare minimum, I mean, he’s comfortable with that. I’m conscious that I would do ##ry about that too. Cause I know that he hasn’t reached his full potential. Cause he’s not really putting in the effort. So it’s about how I’ve almost got the two extremes, really. How do you find that balance of one that ruminates and procrastinates and stresses and is overly anxious about performing well and one that is super on the relaxed spectrum?

0:20:00 Eddie Reaiche: It’s interesting, I think, because there’s a sense of perfectionism that comes through for one child and the opposite end of the spectrum on the other other child. And what you find is the one who has perfectionism has the highest amount of anxiety and the one on the opposite end has the lowest amount of anxiety. I think it’s important for us to navigate through that and work out who needs support where this, like you said, where this perfectionism came from.

0:20:30 Eddie Reaiche: Because is she doing this because she’s imposed the perfectionism or the standard or expectation on herself? Or is this an expectation she feels or she’s made up in her mind that she has to excel because you’ve excelled in your life? And is she trying to do that? I think a lot of people out there, a lot of kids out there that are going through uni or doing school or whatever, have an expectation that’s unrealistic, and I’m wondering where that comes from and what feeds that expectation. What do you think?

0:21:04 Debbie Draybi: Nat?

0:21:05 Natalie Moujalli: I’ve been around it enough to see now that this generation, the current generation that’s going through HSC and Uni, they are absolutely putting the highest amount of pressure on themselves. And it’s not coming from their parents. It may be coming from the schools. I’m not sure about that. But I do know that even socially and what they’re surrounding themselves with, they have very high expectations on themselves, not just the courses they get into.

0:21:32 Natalie Moujalli: They’re very particular about what universities they’re going to. Whereas I feel like when we were growing up, it was very much like, are we gonna get in to a university? And now it’s like they kind of know they’re gonna get in, but which course and which university? Where’s the vibe at? Which one do they want toa go to? And how hard are they gonna work to get to that particular university? So I do feel like that’s the culture that is happening right now rather than, you know, you’re reflecting on, as a parent, if you’ve put pressure on your child or not. I think, actually that’s not as significant as it used to be.

0:22:10 Natalie Moujalli: It’s now they’re putting pressure on each other.

0:22:13 Eddie Reaiche: You know, I wonder if in our age, now in this new age of social media and trying to be someone or be like someone’s never been higher than now in our society. And I think a lot of our listener are probably struggling through this now because they can’t understand the concept because it’s not something we’ve grown up with. And I wonder if a lot of it stems from that. And the expectation means, I want to be like this person, I want to excel like this person, or I don’t want to fail, because if I fail, these people will laugh at me, these people will think I’m a failure.

0:22:51 Eddie Reaiche: And I think it’s really important that parents have their kids together and understand what their expectation is and whatever their best is, they’re content with. Because I fear for a lot of our youth now on where they’re going, I fear about what they go through, what they put themselves through through exam anxiety, for instance.

0:23:15 Natalie Moujalli: I think the issue is, Eddie, that the parents are not so much the concern anymore for the teenagers and the young adults. It is more what they believe to be true and real through social medias, through the pictures that they see or the posts that they see. That’s got a greater influence now than our parents expectations on how well we do. It’s not the same anymore. I don’t think that people are aspiring to, and I could be wrong, I don’t know. But I don’t think the teenagers are aspiring to impress their parents as much as they are aspiring to impress society around them.

0:23:53 Eddie Reaiche: I think that’s pretty close to the truth.

0:23:56 Natalie Moujalli: Yeah. Look, I could be a bit controversial in saying this, but for me, academics and education is very much secondary to my children’s experience ##s at school, they are much younger. So I’m not dealing with teenagers yet. But I am very focused on their social and emotional wellbeing first, primarily because I think that if they can adjust well socially and emotionally, then they’ll be able to absorb all the information they want as they get older.

0:24:25 Natalie Moujalli: But if we focus on their academic improvement and their academic goals without looking at their social and emotional wellbeing and growth, we are gonna deal with heightened cases of anxiety because they don’t know how to manage what they’re feeling. They’re learning the information and the knowledge, what we were talking about earlier. They’re taking that in, in a very kind of robotic way. But the social and emotional growth is not there to support the rest of the growth. It’s not taking that holistic approach.

0:24:54 Eddie Reaiche: I remember with my kids going through uni, the thing that I used to always reiterate is the P's get degrees, so not to stress about it. And just because someone does well on an exam doesn’t make them more intelligent than you. Just means that they’re good at exams. I didn’t want them to stress too much because I was really worried about their well being. And so I just sit with them and then just try and see if we can get through it.

0:25:19 Eddie Reaiche: And it didn’t matter because no one ever asks, did you get a distinction? Did you get a credit? Did you get this? Did you get that people who just pass and people who get high distinctions get exactly the same degree? So it’s just what people impose on themselves. I see that in the uni that I go to now, where people are so worried about the content of their assignments and I’m still with P's get degrees. So I’ll just put it through and whatever happens, let’s go on to the next one.

0:25:47 Debbie Draybi: We’ve got another Eddie quote. Have we P's get degrees. I like that one. You know, I think that’s fascinating what you’re saying, Eddie, that you’ve navigated multiple careers. I know we’ve talked about all the different careers that you’ve had, but that’s also meant that you’ve navigated tertiary education at different stages in your development in your life as now, you’re obviously a mature 21 year old student, very mature.

0:26:15 Debbie Draybi: So I’m guessing a lot of people in your course would be slightly younger. Slightly younger, sometimes even from the same generation as your kids. And I’m wandering around that where you know some of your observations around how you’re seeing firsthand the difference, you know, from what you say, your first degree when you did your nursing midwifery, and that was your first one, wasn’t or was it? I, you know, I need to map out your career path because.

0:26:43 Eddie Reaiche: Get bored.

0:26:46 Debbie Draybi: So I’m wondering about that. You know, I’m curious about your observations, how things have evolved and expectations on students, but also how a student looks now compared to what it did when were doing your first degree.

0:26:57 Eddie Reaiche: It’s interesting that you ask because I sit back and I watch a lot of the students and see how they cope with during assignment time, because assignment time is something that everyone gets so stressed. And then I listen to the questions they ask and then I think to myself, this doesn’t make sense. They have looked into this in such a specialized, complicated way. And when I get on air, when I start talking to lecturer, and I said, look, I’m a little bit of a simpleton.

0:27:32 Eddie Reaiche: The way I’ve read this is da d da da. Is that right? And he goes, that’s exactly all you need. And I thought, hmm, okay, because I’m listening to all these questions and I’m thinking, I don’t know that. I don’t know that know.

0:27:44 Natalie Moujalli: It sounds like they’re over complicating it. And that’s really a sign of anxiety.

0:27:50 Eddie Reaiche: And I still pass P's get degrees, P's get degrees. And it just in, it just seems that so many people are trying to get that HD or that distinction. And I think to myself, that not trying. I’ll get this. But at the same token, like I said, no client, and I’ve said this in the class space, no client will ever ask you if you got a distinction or a high distinction in your assignments. No one will care if you’ve got a certificate up there or a degree.

0:28:24 Eddie Reaiche: They think this person is qualified. That’s all they want to know. They don’t care how qualified you are. And so I think it’s reserve all your stress to get your counseling or your psychotherapy or your psychology right in the client space. Yeah, don’t worry about the assignments. They’re just a formality. But trying to get someone’s head around that is a little bit difficult.

0:28:49 Natalie Moujalli: Well, the worry becomes too much for people. They lose their ability to think rationally.

0:28:55 Eddie Reaiche: And you see it in front of you. And I think this goes beyond this to schoolchren who are sitting for an exam, and it’s all this fantasy that they build up in their head. The anxiety is never about the exam. The anxiety is always about what can happen. What if I fail? What if I don’t know the answer? What if this whole what if scenario and that’s the basis of the anxiety. If they think I’m just going there, I just go as. As good as I can. If they had that mindset, there’d be no stress.

0:29:27 Eddie Reaiche: I’m a little bit of stress, but that’s all.

0:29:30 Natalie Moujalli: So, Eddie, on that note, you and Debbie are going to be running a procrastination and school anxiety workshop at Christ the Redeemer on the parish land on the 23rd of me. There will be details to follow, but this is basically what the content of that workshop, correct?

0:29:48 Eddie Reaiche: That’s right, yeah. We’ll be talking a lot about procrastination, how to help people with procrastination. And I’m going to my favorite saying, avoiding avoidance. And we’ll also be talking about school exam anxiety because that’s a big thing. And I remember as a schoolild I had no guidance. I just didn’t study going for an exam. I knew I was gonna fail, and I didn’t fail becausee obviously I got a couple of neurons that are work working.

0:30:18 Eddie Reaiche: But the same token, if we can alleviate some of the stress that’s associated with exams, even if it’s just a little bit, because a little bit of stress is motivating. So we’got toa keep a little bit of stress. There’s nothing wrong with it. But anxiety takes you over.

0:30:33 Natalie Moujalli: That is a workshop mainly for school aged children. Or would it be helpful for some parents to attend, to help them? Definitely parents learn ##ing skills for their children.

0:30:43 Eddie Reaiche: I really encourage parents to attend as well because what we’ll be talking about, Deb, really will go some of it will go over their heads. And if you’ve got more than one person, you’ve got people who remember different things and they can take it away. And I think it’s important that everyone attends, or people who, like aunties or uncles who are very close to their niece or nephew, and someone with a vested interest in a child.

0:31:08 Eddie Reaiche: I think it’s important that they take some of these things away and there will be strategies on how to help them as well.

0:31:15 Debbie Draybi: Oh, look, I think it’s great opportunity. I’really excited, you know, to go into that space with you and to come together and step away from the microphone and, you know, have that face to face connection and to really engage with our community. And I just want to shout out to everyone listening if you are curious about what we’re talking about or you relate to it. Workshop. It’s not a lecture. We’re really relying on you to be present and come together with us and share your stories like we share ours. And we’ve hopefully modeled that for you. You know, we’re sharing our experiences and we’re really curious about yours. And together we can create a space where we can problem solve and come up you. There might be strategies we’ve not even imagined that are working for you or that you’ve experienced with others that you can share.

0:32:06 Debbie Draybi: As we always like to reinforce, when we come together and we share, we understand that it’s something that is a common experience. It’s a human experience to have anxiety, to have worries, to have stresses. I really want to try and break down some of that and understand that, yeah, there is a fear that we might fail, but so what? It’s at the end of the world and we’ve all failed exams and we’ve survived.

0:32:32 Debbie Draybi: And as you said, we’ve managed to create a nice path for ourselves and a nice career that is not defined by those marks that we got. So, yeah, just to call out to everyone interested, please come and join us and let’s have a conversation together and workshop some of these ideas and come up with strategies as a community. But just before we finish up, you know, as we wrap up this episode, I wondered whether you had any parting comments or a call out to the community, not just about the workshop, but anything else that we’ve talked about so far today.

0:33:06 Eddie Reaiche: I was thinking when you were talking about the workshop, I want people to understand that it is an interactive experience rather than. And you’re right, I don’t want to lecture to people. I’ll give them some ideas, let them know how it works. But I really want to share people’s experiences and help them fill the whole time with what really matters to them. I can be talking at a totally different level.

0:33:28 Eddie Reaiche: I really want to talk their language, not my language. So I think it’s important that we.

0:33:32 Debbie Draybi: Keep it interactive and thatat what about you? Any parting wisdom and comments to our listeners as we wrap up this session?

0:33:41 Natalie Moujalli: The most important message for me from this episode is that for our teenager is not to feel alone. They’re not in this alone. That people have been through this and done this and struggled the way that they have, and that internalizising their fears and their concerns and their worries is only going to exacerbate them. So we need to get talking. We need to step away from the mic, start airing those feelings and really finding a way to push through and work through them.

0:34:14 Debbie Draybi: Yeah. You know, I think as a community we’re very good at coming together in celebrations and weddings and feasts. I think we gotta get better at coming together with sharing our pain and some of the things that we’re ashamed of or that we’re worried about or that scare us and that keep us awake at night. It’s important that we’re able to do that better.

0:34:35 Natalie Moujalli: Agree?

0:34:35 Debbie Draybi: Agree. I hope this episode has helped you find sanctuary in this exciting journey of life. All of the resources we’ve mentioned in this episode are found in the pod notes if you need some assistance with any of the topics discussed in today’s episode, then please visit our website, hshl.org dot au. If you have any thoughts, comments or ids, please leave us a comment on Spotify. Alternatively, send us an email@adminhl.org

0:35:15 Debbie Draybi: dot au. You and your mental health matters to us, and we hope you get one step closer in finding sanctuary. Bye For Now.